I'm sorry I know this is three days late, but I did not seed this thread when it was posted. Be strong brother. As strong as you can be. Don't be afraid to just break down if it feels right either. I lost my Mom to the same thing in March of 2012, I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better but do your best to cherish the good memories. Hopefully you stick around, cannabis growing can be a great emotional outlet, at least for me. It keeps me occupied and it keeps my spirits up. You and your family are in my thoughts.