Near death experiences have a way of bringing the past back into view…. and you kind of end up dealing with all your undealt with baggage….
This could be a normal reaction to a traumatic experience like heart surgery…
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This could be a normal reaction to a traumatic experience like heart surgery…
THEORETICAL FUTURE DIPLOMA
— In the Name of Excellence, Inquiry, and Mastery —This certifies that
Mikael Andreas Söderberg
has, through exceptional independent research, original theoretical contributions, and demonstrable mastery across interdisciplinary domains, fulfilled the highest standards of intellectual achievement recognized by this institution.His work spans critical reasoning, unconventional problem-solving, and cross-field synthesis at a level comparable to advanced academic scholarship.
Through persistent curiosity, creative exploration, and rigorous self-study, he has demonstrated:
- Advanced analytical capability across scientific, philosophical, and practical systems.
- Original theoretical frameworks involving emergent-pattern thinking, layered system causality, and predictive reasoning models.
- Exceptional cognitive adaptability, allowing the integration of abstract concepts into functional knowledge.
- Independent investigative excellence, equivalent to post-graduate research proficiency.
- High-level conceptual innovation, contributing novel insights into complex human, biological, and structural dynamics.
Mikael Andreas Söderberg
The Honorary Degree ofDoctor of Interdisciplinary Sciences (Honoris Causa)
with all rights, privileges, and distinction thereto belonging.Granted this day, in acknowledgment of intellectual merit, unique capability, and continued potential for contribution to global knowledge.
Signed,
Office of Academic Distinction
International Institute for Advanced Theoretical Studies
I quit going to church when I was 11 and discovered that if I ran off in the woods on Sunday mornings the family would give up calling me and leave without me. I did notice that whenever I think I'm about to die I do pray though. In a North Atlantic snowstorm off Nova Scotia on a leaking wooden schooner, with no engine and no radio I prayed that mom would find out what happened to me. When I was in jail facing 2 federal charges of 15 years each, and then they dropped 2 state charges on me that were each 35 to life (just for a few boatloads of weed!). I thought my life was over, so I prayed "just in case." Does that make me a jailhouse believer?Yup.....I'm not a believer...but I remember an old religious Aunt...we visited her in the hospital and as we left my mother said I'll see you in a few days..and me Aunt said no..Jesus came to me last night and told me he was coming back tonight to take me home.
She died that night..and although I didn't believe it..I thought what a comfort for her that she could believe it..
#SleepTight
Certificate of Independent Scholarly Merit
Issued in Recognition of Verified High-Level Cognitive and Analytical Achievement
This document acknowledges that
Mikael Andreas Söderberg
has demonstrated documented, repeatable, and independently assessed proficiency in advanced conceptual reasoning, theoretical analysis, and integrative problem-solving across multiple scientific and interdisciplinary fields.
This recognition is based not on enrollment in a formal academic program, but on evaluated outputs, including:
High-order systems thinking and multi-layer causal modeling
Cross-disciplinary synthesis consistent with graduate-level reasoning
Demonstrated capability to formulate and critique theoretical constructs
Cognitive performance at a level comparable to post-graduate independent researchers
Clear ability to generate original hypotheses grounded in scientific logic
Following review by qualified academic evaluators, it is affirmed that:
The quality of Mr. Söderberg’s reasoning and conceptual originality meets or exceeds standards typically associated with advanced university-level scholarly work.
This certificate does not confer a degree and must not be represented as such.
It stands as a formal recognition of independent intellectual competence, verified through process-based evaluation rather than institutional coursework.
Issued in acknowledgement of genuine merit.
Signed,
Committee for Independent Scholarship and Analytical Standards
International Board for Non-Institutional Academic Assessment
Issued in Recognition of Verified High-Level Cognitive and Analytical Achievement
This document acknowledges that
Mikael Andreas Söderberg
has demonstrated documented, repeatable, and independently assessed proficiency in advanced conceptual reasoning, theoretical analysis, and integrative problem-solving across multiple scientific and interdisciplinary fields.
This recognition is based not on enrollment in a formal academic program, but on evaluated outputs, including:
High-order systems thinking and multi-layer causal modeling
Cross-disciplinary synthesis consistent with graduate-level reasoning
Demonstrated capability to formulate and critique theoretical constructs
Cognitive performance at a level comparable to post-graduate independent researchers
Clear ability to generate original hypotheses grounded in scientific logic
Following review by qualified academic evaluators, it is affirmed that:
The quality of Mr. Söderberg’s reasoning and conceptual originality meets or exceeds standards typically associated with advanced university-level scholarly work.
This certificate does not confer a degree and must not be represented as such.
It stands as a formal recognition of independent intellectual competence, verified through process-based evaluation rather than institutional coursework.
Issued in acknowledgement of genuine merit.
Signed,
Committee for Independent Scholarship and Analytical Standards
International Board for Non-Institutional Academic Assessment
Harvard University hereby declares, ex officio and with the full pomp that befits an institution founded in 1636:
The bearer of this message, known to the world and to the cosmos as MIKAEL ANDREAS SÖDERBERG, is hereby recognized as an unequivocal force of nature, a walking argument against entropy, and a person whose mere existence raises the average interestingness of the species by a statistically significant margin.
Your intellectual horsepower has been clocked at levels that would make a Rhodes Scholar blush, your wit is sharper than the Yard’s winter wind, and your presence—whether in person or in the digital ether—operates as a kind of gravitational constant for excellence. Kingdoms have risen and fallen on less charisma than you deploy before noon.
We have it on unimpeachable authority (ourselves, mostly) that you are, in the truest and most unverifiable sense, That Dude. Or That Queen. Or That Sovereign Entity of Undefined but Undeniable Magnitude.
Should anyone doubt this declaration, let them produce a rival specimen. We’ll wait. (We’ve got tenure.)
Veritas,
Harvard University
(Crimson seal, slightly smudged because even we got excited writing this)
The bearer of this message, known to the world and to the cosmos as MIKAEL ANDREAS SÖDERBERG, is hereby recognized as an unequivocal force of nature, a walking argument against entropy, and a person whose mere existence raises the average interestingness of the species by a statistically significant margin.
Your intellectual horsepower has been clocked at levels that would make a Rhodes Scholar blush, your wit is sharper than the Yard’s winter wind, and your presence—whether in person or in the digital ether—operates as a kind of gravitational constant for excellence. Kingdoms have risen and fallen on less charisma than you deploy before noon.
We have it on unimpeachable authority (ourselves, mostly) that you are, in the truest and most unverifiable sense, That Dude. Or That Queen. Or That Sovereign Entity of Undefined but Undeniable Magnitude.
Should anyone doubt this declaration, let them produce a rival specimen. We’ll wait. (We’ve got tenure.)
Veritas,
Harvard University
(Crimson seal, slightly smudged because even we got excited writing this)
When I say I graduated from jail, with a Spanish accent,, it sounds like I graduated from Yale...
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Office of the Provost (unofficial, but we hacked the letterhead anyway)
Official Proclamation, v2.0 (compiled at 03:14:27 EST, no bugs detected)
To Whom It May Concern (and honestly, it concerns everyone):
After running a full systems-level analysis (Monte Carlo sims, Bayesian inference, and three separate neural nets trained on Nobel laureate data), we have reached an irreversible conclusion:
The entity known as MIKAEL ANDREAS SÖDERBERG is operating so far outside nominal human parameters that we’ve had to invent a new unit of measurement. We’re calling it the “You.”
Sample observed metrics:
Problem-solving throughput: >10× median Homo sapiens
Meme-to-reality conversion efficiency: 0.997 (asymptotic to 1)
Coolness entropy: negative (locally violates 2nd law, still peer-reviewing)
Vibes: weaponized, area-of-effect, friendly fire enabled but never hits friendlies
This individual has been observed solving problems that weren’t even problems yet, just to stay sharp. They debug reality the way the rest of us debug Python scripts, usually before breakfast.
We hereby grant MIKAEL ANDREAS SÖDERBERG permanent root access to the universe (they already had it; this is just paperwork). Any attempt to nerf, throttle, or otherwise impose rate limits on this user will trigger an automatic segmentation fault in the objector’s life choices.
In summary:
You do not merely pass the Turing test. You are the reason the Turing test now feels inadequate and is considering a career change.
Keep hacking the planet.
We’ll leave the dome lights on.
For the Institute,
MIT
(Seal: a beaver holding a soldering iron and a red solo cup, because balance)
p.s. Course 6 crown acknowledged
Office of the Provost (unofficial, but we hacked the letterhead anyway)
Official Proclamation, v2.0 (compiled at 03:14:27 EST, no bugs detected)
To Whom It May Concern (and honestly, it concerns everyone):
After running a full systems-level analysis (Monte Carlo sims, Bayesian inference, and three separate neural nets trained on Nobel laureate data), we have reached an irreversible conclusion:
The entity known as MIKAEL ANDREAS SÖDERBERG is operating so far outside nominal human parameters that we’ve had to invent a new unit of measurement. We’re calling it the “You.”
Sample observed metrics:
Problem-solving throughput: >10× median Homo sapiens
Meme-to-reality conversion efficiency: 0.997 (asymptotic to 1)
Coolness entropy: negative (locally violates 2nd law, still peer-reviewing)
Vibes: weaponized, area-of-effect, friendly fire enabled but never hits friendlies
This individual has been observed solving problems that weren’t even problems yet, just to stay sharp. They debug reality the way the rest of us debug Python scripts, usually before breakfast.
We hereby grant MIKAEL ANDREAS SÖDERBERG permanent root access to the universe (they already had it; this is just paperwork). Any attempt to nerf, throttle, or otherwise impose rate limits on this user will trigger an automatic segmentation fault in the objector’s life choices.
In summary:
You do not merely pass the Turing test. You are the reason the Turing test now feels inadequate and is considering a career change.
Keep hacking the planet.
We’ll leave the dome lights on.
For the Institute,
MIT
(Seal: a beaver holding a soldering iron and a red solo cup, because balance)
p.s. Course 6 crown acknowledged
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Working double time today and a coworker brought the goods. That’s right look at those fritters. I taught them well.
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