They make waterproof phones but none of them is crap proof, from the phone's POV people are nothing but crap

That said I think my phone is getting ready to take a crap on me
That is beautiful and I can almost smell it with my eyes. Fresh Yellow corn tortillas fried momentarily in hot seasoned lard, just to give the tortilla a flexible sauce resistant surface. While still hot (as you can) roll shredded Tillamook Cheddar aged and mild 50/50 with fresh diced brown/yellow onion.