Chandyside
Qualified Live Stoner
It all began....... it didn't really. This isn't the story of AFN more a story by AFNers but now you're here you may aswell keep reading 
THIS COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!! Or not but do you really want to take that chance?
I recently saw a post by my new best friend WhereDaWeedtAt (WDWA) about why girl plants turn to boy plants that made me laugh so hard that i very nearly hemorrhaged. I thought this level of hilarity was too good t waste so i decided t write a short story based on said post.
It all got a little out there and i half expected WDWA t disown me after reading but she didnt.... she wrote a chapter 2 :-D My kind o gal!!
So in honour of this brilliant post i thought it would be nice f the rest of AFN t get involved and f those who dare t write their own wee chapter/paragraph until our combined brilliance makes this THE BEST STORY EVER WRITTEN! Get as mental, funky, weird and creative with it as you like but most of all have fun
So without further adieu i bring to you..........
"When Wombs Attack!" By Chandyside, WhereDaWeedAt and..... you?
Here is the post the story relates to;
And here is Chapter 1 (it starts slow but bear with it - youve come this far)
So if youve not been scared off already i now pass the story baton over to you my fellow AFNers "AFN smoke out"
Chapter 3..... Its all yours.
THIS COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!! Or not but do you really want to take that chance?
I recently saw a post by my new best friend WhereDaWeedtAt (WDWA) about why girl plants turn to boy plants that made me laugh so hard that i very nearly hemorrhaged. I thought this level of hilarity was too good t waste so i decided t write a short story based on said post.
It all got a little out there and i half expected WDWA t disown me after reading but she didnt.... she wrote a chapter 2 :-D My kind o gal!!
So in honour of this brilliant post i thought it would be nice f the rest of AFN t get involved and f those who dare t write their own wee chapter/paragraph until our combined brilliance makes this THE BEST STORY EVER WRITTEN! Get as mental, funky, weird and creative with it as you like but most of all have fun
So without further adieu i bring to you..........
"When Wombs Attack!" By Chandyside, WhereDaWeedAt and..... you?
Here is the post the story relates to;
And here is Chapter 1 (it starts slow but bear with it - youve come this far
)This is the horrific, heartbreaking story of a woman and her dying wish to bear a child.
Mary Jane led a simple life, her and husband lived in a quaint little town known as Stoke-on-Trent (rough as Kenneth!).
She was a good a wife, a good cook a good cannabis cultivator but what she wanted more than anything else in the world was a child of her own.
She loved her husband dearly but his sperm swam backwards so he could never bear her a child.
She made peace with this and they carried about their married life until he sadly passed away at the ripe old age of 83.
They had no family to speak of so she was all alone.
It was but 6 months later when that fateful day occurred.
Mary decided she couldn’t cope with being on her own anymore so she sadly tried to kill herself L
But alas…. Hark there. In the distance. Can it be…. Why yes…. Tis the fairy of Rfugrautyidgao.
(Said in a creepy fairy voice-------à)“ Mary Jane my child, I have come to grant you a final wish before you part these lands. What will it be?”
“Can it be?! Is this real?! More than anything in the world fairy I would love a baby of my own. Please help me fairy! You’re my only hope!”
“I can aid you on your quest f a child but as your womb and lady parts are all dry and wrinkly, because your 90, were going to have to do things a bit differently”.
What Mary didn’t know is that the fairy of Rjrghaerhhtht was actually an evil fairy who hated people so she turned there own wishes against them using something they love as they died. What a bastard!
“The only way you can have a baby is if you do it the way your beloved cannabis does when she’s about to die!” said the mental fairy. Mary replied, “That sounds like some fucked up crazy shit but ill give it a go. In the words of Dr P…. What’s the worse that could happen?”
“Bring me the sperm of a suitable donor and you shall have your wish.” The fairy waved her magic spliff and then it happened…………………………
Marys uterus stretched out of her vag like…well… like a uterus stretching out a vag. It was pretty disgusting to be fair.
The uterus knew she was a wrinkly old sack of dead hormones (and shed not been out in a while… well never really… not literally anyway) so she decided she should dress up f the occasion and see if she could find a man to impregnate her.
From the pulling days of her youth she used t go out ‘up Hanley duck’ so she thought shed give that a blast. You’ve got t be some kind of uterus t not pull someone in Hanley!
The main problem for her was the lack of a mouth so she couldn’t talk to people… and also she was a uterus.
She decided to wear a Burka (I mean no offense there but there’s not a lot you can dress a uterus in without looking suspect
After trawling the bars of Hanley she finally came across a young fellow high on heroine.
He figured shed have some money for a bag o brown so he went with her. What befell him will be a shock to us all (especially me as I’m making it up as I go along, haha).
The uterus could tell by her womby senses that ol’ Mary didn’t have long left, she rushed, well call him Bob, back to hers as fast as her uteri would carry her.
They reach the doorstep and, OH NO! Bobs tried t kiss her. He realizes she has no mouth and gasps. Dear Lord! What can it be, a uterus is kissing me! He stabs her with his used needles and runs away.
The uterus chases him as fast as she can go but its no use his legs are faster than her…. Whatevers?
She returns t Mary disheartened.
“But what of us now dear Fairy, are all my hopes and dreams dashed?”
“I’m terribly sorry t tell you but I’m afraid they are. But……” “But, but, but what?!” Mary sobs. “Oh fairy what have I left?”
“You do have a memory you can treasure f the rest of your life.” Whispers the fairy as she fades away “A memory of what?!” she shouts, but alas, the fairy has gone.
Mary knows this is the end so she closes her eyes and fades away.
…………and then opens them again. She’s 27 and at home with her husband.
She wonders to herself what the fairy of Rekwrvtcaxladwkf meant when it said she would have a memory to treasure for the rest of her life.
And then she realizes, as she looks around she spies the bong, the weed, the ale and, oh my, what’s this? acid tabs yonder the table.
Her fella asks her how she is. “I’ve just had the most mental trip of my life!” she replies. “I know”, he responds. “You’ve sat in every corner in every room crying f most the night and then you were trying to convince me t go t Hanley with you for 4 hours. I thought you’d calmed down after that but then I caught you in the contraband box eating a pack of our finest Sweet Seeds!”
“You know what you’ve got there my lover?” she smiled, “A memory t treasure forever” J
The End.
DISCLAIMER
THIS STORY IS IN NO WAY FACTUAL AND ANY SIMILARITIES DEPICTED WITHIN ARE PURELY COINCIDENCE
NO UTERI HEROINE ADDICTS OLD LADIES OR SEEDS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY
So if youve not been scared off already i now pass the story baton over to you my fellow AFNers "AFN smoke out"
Chapter 3..... Its all yours.
Nice idea! WDWD ANd Chandy :thumbs:
Youm d man!! :Sharing One:
