Live Stoner Chat Joke or Quote of the Day

[Renaissance Redneck]

"well, it looks like you've blown a seal".

The first penguin joke earns you a fish slap!

 

[Renaissance Redneck]

Q: If a blue house is made out of blue bricks, a yellow house is made out of yellow bricks and a pink house is made out of pink bricks, what is a green house made of?

 

[Dark Matter]

Glass mother fucka !!! Lol

 

[Renaissance Redneck]

Glass mother fucka !!! Lol

NO!!! Not glass! The answer we were looking for was "a pliable poly sheeting material with tear resistant properties, and with a suitable molecular structure to allow maximum light transmission"
But I'm cool with glass, too.

 

[TxGrowman]

Life is lived forward and understood backwards
-Søren Kierkegaard

SO much the truth ! !

 

[Renaissance Redneck]

You Are My First
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the
crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says
"How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and
my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal
and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided
bandage and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his
honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal
a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.
She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the
CRATE!"
I know there's a deep though hiding in there somewhere....

 

[Qman1515]

You Are My First
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the
crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says
"How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and
my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal
and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided
bandage and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his
honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal
a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.
She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the
CRATE!"
I know there's a deep though hiding in there somewhere....

That made me laugh hard

 

[Renaissance Redneck]

That made me laugh hard

I wish I knew who told it, it slayed me!

 

[Qman1515]

Got anymore zingers

 

[Renaissance Redneck]

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing.
The screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."