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[Kakarot]

I know it is probably irrelevant to everyone, I really do not have anyone else to talk to. My ex-wife and I just ended our relationship for good after 4 years. We had only been married for 2 years, we have a 2 year old little girl, she has other kids which I became their father because none of them have one and it hurts. The 18th of Aug, was our little girls 2nd birthday and my ex-wife was just totally hateful and basically ruined her birthday. Sidenote also, we got the actual divorce a few months back because her temper got out of control and I am not a hostile person, she filed for the divorce and at that point I did not want to be around her because her temper was so out of control. I got pretty much full custody of our daughter, I fought and fought for that little girl I am so happy I have her, anyway basically like a week after the divorce was final she started telling me she wanted to get back together, I said I would try but sadly things were good for about 2 or 3 weeks and then the same old crap started with her and I just cannot take it, I have my faults to but I don't get how you can be so mean to someone you say you love. Just wanted to vent some of that. Thanks for listening, or not listening or just skimming guys, I am glad for AFN.

 

[briman]

Hey Aurora, been there, done that. I was in the same predicament a good while back. I too had gotten custody of our 2 kids and she wanted to get back together, after everything was done through the courts. The only advice I can give you, is 4 things, that will be the hardest things you will ever have to do...
1) accept that you cannot control what other poeple do and be aware of that.
2)do what is right for your little girl. even if that means taking her out of that relationship, but let her see her mom.
3)work on you, to be the best positive roll model for your daughter, even if that means on working on yourself and being alone. Remember, no matter where you go, there you are. If you are depressed and down. there are things that can help. Take baking soda, 1 tsp 3 times a day. It elevates your mood and raises you body's ph to help your mind and body help heal itself.
4) you really need to not wonder the why. You simply dont come to a fork in the road and not know which way to turn. have a plan to drive yourself and your daughter to a happier destination. Yeah, its corny i know, but what ever works. Dont be down man, you have a little girl who needs a nurturing father with a mothers approach. You have to be both for her. Think about what she is going through and help her. It will come around to you 10 fold!

 

[Kakarot]

Hey Aurora, been there, done that. I was in the same predicament a good while back. I too had gotten custody of our 2 kids and she wanted to get back together, after everything was done through the courts. The only advice I can give you, is 4 things, that will be the hardest things you will ever have to do...
1) accept that you cannot control what other poeple do and be aware of that.
2)do what is right for your little girl. even if that means taking her out of that relationship, but let her see her mom.
3)work on you, to be the best positive roll model for your daughter, even if that means on working on yourself and being alone. Remember, no matter where you go, there you are. If you are depressed and down. there are things that can help. Take baking soda, 1 tsp 3 times a day. It elevates your mood and raises you body's ph to help your mind and body help heal itself.
4) you really need to not wonder the why. You simply dont come to a fork in the road and not know which way to turn. have a plan to drive yourself and your daughter to a happier destination. Yeah, its corny i know, but what ever works. Dont be down man, you have a little girl who needs a nurturing father with a mothers approach. You have to be both for her. Think about what she is going through and help her. It will come around to you 10 fold!

Briman that really is a good piece of advice I really appreciate it. Thank you for giving me a more positive outlook, it is also good to know I am not the only one that is/has experienced this kind of situation. You are also very right... it does not matter if it is corny as long as it works.

 

[briman]

Anything you need, just give me a shout! We are all here to help and its the least I can do. People gotta take care of each other, the world needs more of that!

 

[Kakarot]

Anything you need, just give me a shout! We are all here to help and its the least I can do. People gotta take care of each other, the world needs more of that!

Thank you brother and yes indeed the world does need more of that, I am here also to help with anything that I possibly can.

 

[Eekman]

Hi Aurora,

Me too, been in that situation. One thing I regret, is that mental illness became a factor, and I didn't have the energy left in our relationship to help fix it. Make sure you do everything you can to help your ex, if the illness cannot be treated, then you must do what you have to do, and see that your daughter is safe.

But you may already be past that point

 

[Kakarot]

Hi Aurora,

Me too, been in that situation. One thing I regret, is that mental illness became a factor, and I didn't have the energy left in our relationship to help fix it. Make sure you do everything you can to help your ex, if the illness cannot be treated, then you must do what you have to do, and see that your daughter is safe.

But you may already be past that point

Mental Illness is a factor, also I have tried and tried, it is still fixable but it is beyond me. I would do anything I could to help her if she would listen to me but sadly I do not think it is possible. I know what you mean about not having the strength left. It is hard EeK and it sucks watching someone just drift away like that, someone whom at one point you loved with everything, and still do to an extent.

 

[armanidog]

There may be a local divorce group that meets periodically.
Been there, done that. I had lot's of anger, guilt, and fear. It really helped when I was able to listen and talk to others going through a similar situation.