Live Stoner Chat Dungeons and Dragons

[gradolabs]

Hiya all. Gradolabs here. I'm looking out for any and all dungeon masters to share their ideas front and center. I know it's hard maintaining a group of individuals and their schedules, but maybe with a little coauthoring of dungeons we can entice them to show up on a regular basis, and see some of the most epic dungeons run with minimal effort. I have pages and scripts prepared for 1st edition through 4.0 - just testing the waters to see if there's anyone else interested in an AFN dungeon party to help see this through. Light me up with responses if you're interested.

 

[Son of Hobbes]

That's right. Out with it. Oust yourselves, nerds! Bwahahahaha! Ahhhhh man this is great!

I can't wait to see what FOOLS whilst disclose thy dice rolling nature!
OHHHHH the humanity of what member rolling natural 1's while battling the level 14 HYDRA!?
OHHHHH the empowerment of a natural 20 by the tumultuous halfling barbarian charging with a mercurial lance on the back of a heavy war dog?!
WHAT rogue willen step forth with thou min/max'd reflex save and spring all thou dastardly DM'd traps?!
WHO shall save thy fairest of maidens named BLUE from the blackened talons of the savage orcs of Faerun?!
HOW shall you split your 10d6 chain lightning among the kobold rebels and then divide their loot; which your character will spend meticulous time stripping the clothes off every single dead corpse, because THAT'S not weird; hmmmmmm?!
WHERE will the adventures take you as you fight alongside Elminster the Red Wizard in the Sea of Swords and Drizzt Do' Urden in the vast Underdark and Menzoberranzan?

I mean, that's uh, assuming you PLAYED games like that. Not saying I know anything about it.

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That's all I gotta say bro. That's all I gotta say.

Now, if you'll go excuse me, gotta go spend some skill points. Failed my will power check and didn't go to work today. Rolled a 6 on my Cooking Check and burned my toast. Loaded my magic hammer bubbler for some 17th level Astral Projection action. By the time that's done smoking, it's gonna be called D&Durrrrrrrrr :stoneslap:

Ahh hahahahhahaha I crack myself up!

 

[gradolabs]

Straight Outta Mordor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2An0fuHW8E

So now that we got that out of our system... we should smoke and play it again, then roll characters.

 

[gradolabs]

This is cross posted from the rhyme spitters thread and is sort of a mixture between the lonely island, mail order comedy and my own dnd and poetry experience.

yo my alignment
chaotic neutral and shit
devastating nonsense
i'm as sprite as they get

this isn't dungeons and dragons
this is totally legit
I'm rolling 20's mo'fucker
don't you ever forget

a human fighter
got the strength of 18 men
destroying goblins left and right
initiative begins again

gotta roll to hit what's their ac one more time
ok I rolled a 17 let's do damage to dragon kind

dodging fireballs
and getting poisoned in the well
got the light sticks fired up
saving friends with holy spells

now we're fighting the boss
and damnit jim why did you die
he's immune to physical damage
damnit jim we didn't lie

but now he's dead and here's his treasure
bag of holding now is ripping
ripping doors off of their hinges
acid from the locks is dripping

and we're heading back to town
carrying jims dead left ear
cause we're casting spells and killing things
and jim will be right back here....

"once we revive jims dumb ass again"

NEXT DUNGEON!

 

[gradolabs]

New lyrics. Also this is a dungeons and dragons thread exclusive. The rhyme spitters thread will stay with the old lyrics... keep rolling them bones, son.

+rep for errybody here.

 

[The Squid]

I've been playing D&D for 18 years with a little on and off here and there. Love it. Mostly all 2nd Edition.

 

[epenguin]

I've never heard of "Dungeons & Dragons" but if it is similar to "Polar Bears & Penguins 3rd edition" where we all take our clothes off and dance around shaking our bits and singing Kylie songs whilst, well you know. (Can't say too much unless you been initiated).
Well, if I am on the right track (wink wink) count me in. If I am somewhat wide of the mark, then please forget you ever read this. ta eP.

 

[gradolabs]

It's a lot like that, but with more larping. There's chips, energy drinks, a couple of joints if you're with my crew, and about 100 of each kind of dice. Plus maps, drawings, notes, character sheets, miniatures, and a giant table upon which all of this sits.

We hang out, smoke cigarettes, then once we're in the zone, we get a briefing from the DM and we head inside to play. Who ever didn't show up forfeits the days treasure and experience, but one of us usually picks up their character and at least participates in battle. We can usually use the extra sword, especially with my DM - who shall remain nameless, despite his or her penchant for presenting us with nearly impossible situations.

More or less, pen and paper dnd is the best video game ever, mostly because you make up everything - only the rules are hardcoded - you can pretty much do whatever you want.

One time I walked into a dungeon; a cave, really, which I knew to be occupied by a superior number of the opposition (kobolds and trolls). While I snuck around inside, my friends drove two iron spikes into the rocks on either side of the entrance and tied a rope betwixt them. I made a whole bunch of noise and rode the wave of enemies outside, but only I knew when to jump over the rope. The kobolds all failed their saving throws and tripped, creating a bottle neck and our ranged weapons devastated the entire group. Coup de gras, home skillet. Thanks for the experience!

That's one of my favorite moments, overall.